I opened the shower curtain just in time to see a black cat, chased by a girl cat, chased by Corgzilla all running down the hall at warp speed. This was followed by the sound of two crashes in the living room. The white dog was standing in front of the bathroom door looking very confused.
Just another day at the McLawrence Home for Criminally Insane (and sometimes incontinent) Pets. Ordinarily, I'd be annoyed by this disturbance in my pre-church routine. For some reason, today I was more curious than anything.
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me, not caring it wasn't completely up to the task. When I got to the living room, neither cat was in sight. The Corgi walked sheepishly by me. One of our floor lamps was lying on the floor and a DVD case lie in the middle of the room.
I righted the lamp and picked up the DVD … and laughed. The last week has been exhausting, difficult and profoundly sad. My heart has hurt in ways I didn't know possible. So I cackled like a lunatic at my goofy menagerie. I also silently hoped Jody wouldn't wander into the living room and determine I'd finally snapped.
My uncle's funeral was Saturday. I sat in a room surrounded by people I've known my whole life and yet don't really know. The distance of years and miles has left a vague familiarity, but the finer points are gone. What I know of most of my family is distilled drops of history, exaggerated stories … myths really.
I watched as people who had been larger than life to me as a child filed into this tiny church and they all seemed so much more human than I remembered. It's funny how the lens of age distorts your perception. Uncles had far more gray in their beards. My grandmother moved more slowly. My own father is shrinking before my very eyes. The Priscilla? Well, she will always be larger than life. Especially her hair.
My cousins were all drawn together. For some of us it had been 15 or 20 years since we'd seen one another. It always amazes me how funerals and weddings often serve as surrogate family reunions. For the briefest moments yesterday we forgot our sad reason for being there and joked and laughed together.
Those laughs all sounded so similar. If there is a common thread among the McMasters' kin, it's that our laughs all sound alike and we're the most stubborn so and so's you've ever met. I could hear and see this playing out all over the small sanctuary.
The hardest part of the whole service as watching my cousins Sandy and Shelly make the climb up to the pulpit. There was no question both of their hearts were breaking. None of us are good at saying goodbye privately. Saying it so publicly can add insult to injury. Shelly took a deep breath and delivered one of the best eulogies I've ever heard.
One by one, family and friends of my uncle got up and shared memories of him. Each one funnier than the last. My uncle was a prankster, a clown and one of the most generous people in my family. It was no surprise that just as we were weeping someone would deliver an anecdote that had all of us holding our sides giggling.
I realized the McMasters' share more than just a similar laugh and a stubborn streak. We're all comedians too.
During the sermon, the minister said we'd all see my uncle in the strangest places now. Whether it was a song he liked or his beloved Country Bob's steak sauce, his body may be gone but he'd always live in our hearts. Uncle David would still be a part of our lives. I thought it was a sweet, comforting platitude meant to comfort a grieving family. I didn't give it a second thought.
Sunday, as I was leaving a sanctuary full of familiar yet similarly unfamiliar people at my own church, my mind was on my cousins Sandy and Shelly. I was wondering how they were doing. Completely lost in my thoughts, I didn't hear my best friend Karen slip up behind me in the hallway.
So deep were my thoughts, I didn't even notice when she got right next to my ear and quietly said, “BOO!”
I jumped three feet in the air, flailed, flapped and screamed “Jesus Christ!” in the Lord's house. When my heart finally crawled back out of my throat, I stared dumbly at Karen, Jody and Bre who were laughing uncontrollably at my discomfort. Then I laughed in spite of myself.
You're right Uncle David. I needed to lighten up, thanks for sending the prank my way.
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