Tamper evident gift giving and other insanity

Half awake and stunned, I stared at the carnage on my bathroom sink.  The toothpaste tube was still in my hand, the toothpaste lie in a useless blob on the vanity.  The safety seal at the mouth of the tube was a mangled mess.  One shiny bit of the silvery shield had adhered itself to my fingernail in my feverish attempts to liberate the Crest.  It sparkled in the bathroom light, mocking me.

In 1982, seven people died after taking Extra Strength Tylenol that were laced with cyanide.  No one has ever been charged with the crime.  The incident prompted the FDA to enact more stringent regulations on product packaging.  Tamper-proof or tamper-evident entered our lexicon and were there for our protection.

And that, my friends, is why you often find yourself clutching your aching head in one hand and repeatedly stabbing a Tylenol cap with a butter knife.

While frustrating, it is apparent why such precautions were necessary.  But before long, EVERYTHING from batteries to the vibrators they power were secured in blister pack.  Why tamper-evident packaging was necessary for these items, I’m not sure.  I’m relatively certain it had to do with keeping thieves at bay.  But seriously, with the magnetic alarm doo hickies that are all over products these days, is the added plastic armor really necessary?

Oh wait.  It keeps THESE guys in business.

Whether the purpose of blister pack is to keep consumers safe, prevent theft or just provide some corporate wonk some where a good laugh is anyone’s guess.  But the stuff has clearly pissed enough people off that Amazon.com is now marketing Frustration Free Packaging.

In fact, Amazon has a whole page explaining their Frustration Free packaging.  They’ve partnered with over 300 companies who provide them with products in said packaging.  The items come straight from the warehouse and are shipped to you requiring no more than a pen knife or a couple of snips of the scissors to open.

Bliss!

Amazon has long been my Christmas shopping destination of choice.  Let’s see:  Door Buster sale at 4 a.m. in the freezing cold on Black Friday – OR – 10 a.m., any day, in my pajamas with my laptop.  Gee, I’m not sure which one is better!  Besides, all those Frustration Free packages arriving on my doorstep makes several Christmases in one season!   The Frustration Free packaging is just a pretty ribbon tied on top of that lovely gift.  Here’s hoping other retailers follow suit.

A Reality Check

Many of us are feeling stung two days after the election.  It's not that many of us are surprised by what happened, we've seen it coming for months now.  It's the general dismay and deja vu that's so troubling.

We're back to liberal being a dirty word.  We're back to, even those of us who are moderates, being pinko socialists who hate freedom.  Those who hurl those slurs don't even stop to think about how off-base those remarks are ... nor do they care.

But let's set the record straight shall we?

1.  Most liberals do not hate freedom.  In fact, liberal and liberty have the same root. I'm sure such word nerdery makes me an elitist, but I embrace being smart.  I really don't understand why being smart is a bad thing.

2.  We aren't trying to take anything from anyone.  Meanwhile, the conservatives who are hailing themselves as beacons of freedom, want to deprive certain Americans from the right to marry.  They want there to be one Christian religion (a pretty big no no according to that CRAZY document, the Constitution).  Anyone who is Muslim is suspect.  Many of them even think the President IS a Muslim, even though there's not a shred of evidence pointing to this fact other than, what?  He's BROWN?  Really?

3.  Many of these people who are wrapping themselves in the American flag and crying freedom are the same folks who, after 9-11, festooned their vehicles with bumper stickers that read "FREEDOM ISN'T FREE."  You get called an elitist for laughing at such folly.

4.  Many of these so-called Constitutional Protectors wouldn't know the Constitution if it walked up and bit them on their freedom protecting asses.  That would require reading.  As we all know, reading is for elitist, socialist, pinko, fascist, communists who hate freedom. 

5.  These folks want your understanding of your government to be from a semi-coherent list of talking points that Glen Beck shouts at you.

I'll stop there. 

It all boils down to the simple fact that the two party system is horribly broken.  We are never going to get past just slight majorities on one side or the other.  Every mid-term election there is going to be either a conservative or liberal backlash against the previous perceived regime.  Politicians will still belong to lobbyists and corporations and not give a Tinker's damn about you and me ... regardless of our political leanings.

Friends, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result.

I don't pretend to have all the answers but I will make a few predictions about the next Congressional term:

1.  All the promises of sweeping change will be swept under the rug.  Campaign promises?  The other word for that phrase is "lies."  Neither side will be able to get any traction to get any real change pushed through.  Besides they'll be too busy sucking on the Corporate Teat and scratching one anothers' backs.

2.  The country will not get itself out of debt.  We'll either wind up deeper in or bankrupt the world economy.  Neither option is good.  Congratulations you so-called fiscal conservatives!  Bravo!

3.  Billy Long will show us all how "fed up" he is by becoming the new darling of the K Street Lobbyists.  Even money on whether he's caught in a compromising personal situation or a financial scandal.  After all, Billy is a gambling man ... allegedly.

Finally, we're all going to come back to the same place in November of 2012.  We'll have this vague sense of deja vu.  More than likely that will be because we've come full circle once again.

Tea Party fun

Share this with all of the Tea Partiers you know.

Don't forget to vote tomorrow.