Civility disobedience

Acts of desperation make us pause and think.

When Jarrod Lee Loughner opened fire on a crowd waiting to speak with their Congresswoman, in our horror and disbelief, we immediately began to ask why? Why did this happen? Why would this young man kill innocent people? Was this politically motivated?

The pundits came out in force. The politicians pointed fingers. The Left blamed the Right and vice versa.

I think in the end, we'll all come to find out this meaningless act of violence was, indeed, meaningless. Jarrod Lee Loughner is likely a mentally unbalanced man who needs help. He may or may not have been caught up with the vitriolic rhetoric we're all bombarded with daily. If you could get him to talk, I imagine he doesn't even know why he committed those acts.

Only one thing is certain about the tragic events in Tuscon, we're all suddenly talking a great deal about civility. We're all asking how we find ourselves at this place of hate and discontent?

A columnist for SI.com, Jeff Pearlman, recently tracked down a couple of folks who sent him snide, rude and pornographic responses to columns he'd written. When he called them both at home to call them out on their behavior, both were contrite. Both also sheepishly blamed the anonymity of the internet for their boorish behavior.

It's not surprising. While the Internet has done wonders to make our world that much smaller, it has also thrown a mask on each one of us. The web has reduced us to online monikers, cryptic avatars and FaceBook profile pictures that are doggedly hard to see on our smart phones. Is it any wonder we've stopped seeing each other as actual people?

But it isn't just the cloaking device of the World Wide Web that's causing so many folks to speak with wicked tongues. Our political and cultural worlds are rife with trying to shout over one another. Right and Left stick their fingers in their ears and say the most shameful things about each other. Even when those things are true it's hard to believe them given they're coated in hateful hyperbole.

We've stopped listening to one another. It's too loud to do so. We're so passionate that we are right and the other person is wrong that we drown one another out. I've witnessed family arguments where both sides are shouting loudly at each other about a political issue they don't even realize they're in agreement until one of us who actually has been listening to them points it out to them.

At church this week, our pastor advised us to imagine sitting at a table with someone we revile and Jesus. She suggested breaking bread with this person and trying to have a civil meal. While I have to admit the likelihood of me having dinner with the Savior and the Reverend Fred Phelps is about as likely as oil and water mixing, it was good food for thought.

I am not so naive to think that we can all agree all the time. I'm even enough of realist to think there are even places where some form of common ground isn't possible. Yet I am enough of an optimist to believe that if we pause, just for a few moments, and actually listen to one another maybe we can at least learn to have some tolerance and respect for one another.